So
I want a second tattoo
The parents reaction to the first one was *bad*
But I want a second
Across my wrist. In white ink. I <3 white ink when it's done right. It looks like a scar or a burn. I want to write "love always" across my wrist. It'd be *hardly* noticeable.
7/31/08
How old is the first person on your top?
26.
How old is the last person you kissed?
26
Where was your default picture taken at?
umm I don't have one on my blog yet...
on facebook it was taken at dayton
and on myspace it's whatever restaurant formal was at like 2 yrs ago
Who woke you up this morning?
mom yelling
What is your current mood?
sleepy
like usual
What were you doing at 11:00 last night?
facebooking
What are you doing tonight?
nada. hopefully talking to justin.
Did your last kiss mean anything?
actually. . . yes
What have you done today?
facebooked, put dishes away, worked a lil,
and talked to people
Have you smiled recently?
umm... at this super cheesy 80s movie
What are you wearing?
short hooch black shorts
and a blue running shirt
What color are your eyes?
brown
but they change
Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong?
almost always
what do you currently smell like?
nothing i havent used perfume and I haven't worked out yet
Last thing you bought?
food probably
Have you ever shared a drink with anyone?
lots of times
How much money do you have on you?
lol like $34
Where did your last hug take place?
my house
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
no
Last Place you went?
grocery store
Are you afraid of shots?
nope.
Is your last name longer than 6 letters long?
no. it's six letters.
Ever bit someone else’s tongue?
no! ow!
Do you care what others think about you?
far too often
Do think you'll be married in 10 years?
no idea....
Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
yes
Do you have a crush on someone?
yes
Are you in a relationship?
yes
What happened at 10:00 am today?
umm... i was on facebook
Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
YES
What's your favorite card game?
<3 style="display: none;">
Who was the last person you called?
umm Drew?
Anything you're giving up on?
certain people
Are you open about your feelings or closed off?
open
Think of the person you told "I love you" last, did you mean it?
yes. i meant it very much
Ever cried because of happiness?
yes, definitely
Thought about someone today?
of course i have
Over all mood today?
bitchy & short-tempered
Are you happy with who you are?
oh, i am!!
Would it hurt seeing someone else kiss the last girl/guy you kissed?
yes. it would hurt a lot.
since i'm still *dating* him
Where do you live?
webster city
How many friends do you have?
quite a few
Did you speak to your mother today?
of course i did
How many months until your birthday?
304 days
Where is your sister right now?
in the other room
Who's bothering you right now?
my sister
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
of course i would
When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
earlier today
Do you miss someone?
oh yes.
drew and all my girlfriends and james
Can you make a relationship last longer than 3 months?
yes.
lol
How good is Coca-Cola?
eh. i prefer pepsi.
and diet
Where is your number one right now?
in Colorado
When was the last time you cleaned your room?
too long ago
Are you taking anyone for granted?
i try not to...
Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
ohhh, sunset!
unless you've been up all night to see the sunrise
What are you excited about?
going back to drake!!
Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
one tattoo, three piercings.
Do you drink bottled water?
yes
Do you think everyone deserves second chance?
no. but i give them anyway
Most hated food?
tomatos
Have you lost friends in the past years?
thankfully
What's the last thing that made you smile?
my mom
26.
How old is the last person you kissed?
26
Where was your default picture taken at?
umm I don't have one on my blog yet...
on facebook it was taken at dayton
and on myspace it's whatever restaurant formal was at like 2 yrs ago
Who woke you up this morning?
mom yelling
What is your current mood?
sleepy
like usual
What were you doing at 11:00 last night?
facebooking
What are you doing tonight?
nada. hopefully talking to justin.
Did your last kiss mean anything?
actually. . . yes
What have you done today?
facebooked, put dishes away, worked a lil,
and talked to people
Have you smiled recently?
umm... at this super cheesy 80s movie
What are you wearing?
short hooch black shorts
and a blue running shirt
What color are your eyes?
brown
but they change
Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong?
almost always
what do you currently smell like?
nothing i havent used perfume and I haven't worked out yet
Last thing you bought?
food probably
Have you ever shared a drink with anyone?
lots of times
How much money do you have on you?
lol like $34
Where did your last hug take place?
my house
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
no
Last Place you went?
grocery store
Are you afraid of shots?
nope.
Is your last name longer than 6 letters long?
no. it's six letters.
Ever bit someone else’s tongue?
no! ow!
Do you care what others think about you?
far too often
Do think you'll be married in 10 years?
no idea....
Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
yes
Do you have a crush on someone?
yes
Are you in a relationship?
yes
What happened at 10:00 am today?
umm... i was on facebook
Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
YES
What's your favorite card game?
<3 style="display: none;">
Who was the last person you called?
umm Drew?
Anything you're giving up on?
certain people
Are you open about your feelings or closed off?
open
Think of the person you told "I love you" last, did you mean it?
yes. i meant it very much
Ever cried because of happiness?
yes, definitely
Thought about someone today?
of course i have
Over all mood today?
bitchy & short-tempered
Are you happy with who you are?
oh, i am!!
Would it hurt seeing someone else kiss the last girl/guy you kissed?
yes. it would hurt a lot.
since i'm still *dating* him
Where do you live?
webster city
How many friends do you have?
quite a few
Did you speak to your mother today?
of course i did
How many months until your birthday?
304 days
Where is your sister right now?
in the other room
Who's bothering you right now?
my sister
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
of course i would
When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
earlier today
Do you miss someone?
oh yes.
drew and all my girlfriends and james
Can you make a relationship last longer than 3 months?
yes.
lol
How good is Coca-Cola?
eh. i prefer pepsi.
and diet
Where is your number one right now?
in Colorado
When was the last time you cleaned your room?
too long ago
Are you taking anyone for granted?
i try not to...
Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
ohhh, sunset!
unless you've been up all night to see the sunrise
What are you excited about?
going back to drake!!
Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
one tattoo, three piercings.
Do you drink bottled water?
yes
Do you think everyone deserves second chance?
no. but i give them anyway
Most hated food?
tomatos
Have you lost friends in the past years?
thankfully
What's the last thing that made you smile?
my mom
7/30/08
...for you....
My love, my baby
Til the end of time
I'll be yours
And you'll be mine
I love you
With all of my heart
My sweet baby
Forever and always
Til the end of time
I'll be yours
And you'll be mine
I love you
With all of my heart
My sweet baby
Forever and always
Being home is driving me insane.
My friends here... a good majority of them have/are having/will have a baby in the next year and a half. I feel left out. If I'd stayed here... I could have gone to a two year college, gotten a joke degree, and been a mom. Just like everyone else. I could have *easily* done that. Hell... I might have stayed with the first boy I really loved. Not that it would have been a good or intelligent thing to do. But it would have been the easiest.
My friends here... a good majority of them have/are having/will have a baby in the next year and a half. I feel left out. If I'd stayed here... I could have gone to a two year college, gotten a joke degree, and been a mom. Just like everyone else. I could have *easily* done that. Hell... I might have stayed with the first boy I really loved. Not that it would have been a good or intelligent thing to do. But it would have been the easiest.
love
"I love you
You love me
We're a happy family
with a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
won't you say you love me too"
It's funny to me... how a children's song... from a show that I despise is mimicking my mood so well. All I want to know ... do you? Honestly. And why?? Last time you answered you told me it was because I was like your favorite pair of jeans. That fits no matter what. Only better. I get that. But. . . why couldn't you have told me this two years ago.
*HE* loves me. More than anyone ever has. More than anyone should. So I picked him. I made him wait so long to even get a chance. . . and then longer for anything more than a chance. And yes. . . You've done a lot. You've waited a lot. But guess what? You could have had everything in high school. I'm devastated by this and I'm just starting to be okay again.
I move in like two weeks. That's not my annoying Valley Girl voice. . . that's me not wanting to count. Suuuuuper excited about it.
You love me
We're a happy family
with a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
won't you say you love me too"
It's funny to me... how a children's song... from a show that I despise is mimicking my mood so well. All I want to know ... do you? Honestly. And why?? Last time you answered you told me it was because I was like your favorite pair of jeans. That fits no matter what. Only better. I get that. But. . . why couldn't you have told me this two years ago.
*HE* loves me. More than anyone ever has. More than anyone should. So I picked him. I made him wait so long to even get a chance. . . and then longer for anything more than a chance. And yes. . . You've done a lot. You've waited a lot. But guess what? You could have had everything in high school. I'm devastated by this and I'm just starting to be okay again.
I move in like two weeks. That's not my annoying Valley Girl voice. . . that's me not wanting to count. Suuuuuper excited about it.
7/29/08
98 Identity
I started this, not knowing who I was or where I belonged. I didn't know what I was good for or what use I was to the world and those around me.
I don't know that I have an answer to that question. But I know this:
**I'm a damn good girlfriend. I'm loyal and I'd do anything to see that boy smile.
**I take really good care of people. Once you're my friend there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.
**I take great offense at being called a cunt and told I'm inferior to men. This semester I'm going to start going to help raise awareness for women's rights. I may help with the vagina monologues:-)
**I'm fairly good at understanding what people need without them telling me
**I'm fairly decent at accounting and better at management
**I'm very short tempered but it means that I don't have to deal with a lot of bullshit
**My favorite color is pink. Yet my bedroom has been purple for the last 4 years. And the new one will be purple too.
**I love going to college. I love the freedom and the independence it offers
**I love the taste of a good margarita
**I love kicking back and having a beer with the guys. I can talk shit as good as any of 'em. ;-)
** I love knowing that he loves me.
That tells me a lot about myself. It tells me that I care, probably too much, for the people that surround me. I love them
I don't know that I have an answer to that question. But I know this:
**I'm a damn good girlfriend. I'm loyal and I'd do anything to see that boy smile.
**I take really good care of people. Once you're my friend there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.
**I take great offense at being called a cunt and told I'm inferior to men. This semester I'm going to start going to help raise awareness for women's rights. I may help with the vagina monologues:-)
**I'm fairly good at understanding what people need without them telling me
**I'm fairly decent at accounting and better at management
**I'm very short tempered but it means that I don't have to deal with a lot of bullshit
**My favorite color is pink. Yet my bedroom has been purple for the last 4 years. And the new one will be purple too.
**I love going to college. I love the freedom and the independence it offers
**I love the taste of a good margarita
**I love kicking back and having a beer with the guys. I can talk shit as good as any of 'em. ;-)
** I love knowing that he loves me.
That tells me a lot about myself. It tells me that I care, probably too much, for the people that surround me. I love them
7/22/08
7/21/08
rants. kinda long
He's waiting for me. T is. I asked him not to. And I wish he wouldn't. I feel like I'm ruining his life because he's waiting for me.
There's been another girl. I mean. After Molly. And I guess... before me... she was a debutante. For some reason he likes me better than that. And I don't want that. I don't want him to like me better than all the wealthy pretty girls that he goes to school with. I don't want him to be miserable thinking about my boyfriend and me. I don't want him to wait for me. I don't want him to think that I led him on. I don't want him to think that I haven't done everything I possibly can to discourage him. I mean. I was excited about this other girl. I knew she wouldn't last long. Since he was dating her and in love with me. But I thought for sure that it would *help*
Of course not. I'm wrong like usual.
My boyfriend on the other hand. The one I'm oh so madly in love with.
Yeah. He's playing poker while I'm typing this. So he won't have to listen to it. He won't have to deal with the fact that I'm *outraged* by the fact that my best friend is still in love with me. He thinks it's over. He thinks it's done. That I settled everything that night. My heart was just getting over being broken. and now FUCKING this. I hate it. I hate all of it. FUCK this.
I hate being fat. I hate the fact that I gained fifteen lbs. I typed ten . but lets be honest. it wasn't ten. I hate feeling the way I do now. I know all this manual labor shit is good for me. But I hate it. I hate all of it. I want to crawl in a hole and not come out.
Most of all. I hate the secrets. And I hate the lies.
There's been another girl. I mean. After Molly. And I guess... before me... she was a debutante. For some reason he likes me better than that. And I don't want that. I don't want him to like me better than all the wealthy pretty girls that he goes to school with. I don't want him to be miserable thinking about my boyfriend and me. I don't want him to wait for me. I don't want him to think that I led him on. I don't want him to think that I haven't done everything I possibly can to discourage him. I mean. I was excited about this other girl. I knew she wouldn't last long. Since he was dating her and in love with me. But I thought for sure that it would *help*
Of course not. I'm wrong like usual.
My boyfriend on the other hand. The one I'm oh so madly in love with.
Yeah. He's playing poker while I'm typing this. So he won't have to listen to it. He won't have to deal with the fact that I'm *outraged* by the fact that my best friend is still in love with me. He thinks it's over. He thinks it's done. That I settled everything that night. My heart was just getting over being broken. and now FUCKING this. I hate it. I hate all of it. FUCK this.
I hate being fat. I hate the fact that I gained fifteen lbs. I typed ten . but lets be honest. it wasn't ten. I hate feeling the way I do now. I know all this manual labor shit is good for me. But I hate it. I hate all of it. I want to crawl in a hole and not come out.
Most of all. I hate the secrets. And I hate the lies.
7/17/08
7/16/08
wow...
It's been a really long time since I've written anything.
I blatantly ignored the marital problems (LOL) between Drew and I. We almost broke up because we're at different places in our lives. He was wondering when I'd be ready to get married.... and I freaked out. He's not there yet... but I think he's a lot closer than I am. His friends are all getting engaged and that makes it harder. By a lot. Especially since his gf makes a face and cringes when that word gets brought up.
I completely ignored my classes. I passed all of them :-) and managed to not die even though it was super hectic and disgusting. I stayed alive and even managed to not crash my car once during my hour long commute. I stayed in des moines more often than I probably should have, but never got in toooo much trouble.
My fourth of July was rather lame. I went to my friends boyfriend's house and messed around at the lake. Getting hit on by guys I'll likely never see again. That was a nice feeling.
I have spent way too much time in a camper, drank way too much starbucks and way too many beers and now i have to go on a diet. *laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame* I drank with my parents on a regular basis. and i move in a month.
I blatantly ignored the marital problems (LOL) between Drew and I. We almost broke up because we're at different places in our lives. He was wondering when I'd be ready to get married.... and I freaked out. He's not there yet... but I think he's a lot closer than I am. His friends are all getting engaged and that makes it harder. By a lot. Especially since his gf makes a face and cringes when that word gets brought up.
I completely ignored my classes. I passed all of them :-) and managed to not die even though it was super hectic and disgusting. I stayed alive and even managed to not crash my car once during my hour long commute. I stayed in des moines more often than I probably should have, but never got in toooo much trouble.
My fourth of July was rather lame. I went to my friends boyfriend's house and messed around at the lake. Getting hit on by guys I'll likely never see again. That was a nice feeling.
I have spent way too much time in a camper, drank way too much starbucks and way too many beers and now i have to go on a diet. *laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame* I drank with my parents on a regular basis. and i move in a month.
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