So she keeps talking and I can’t follow. I can’t pay attention because I’m a terrible person. And powerpoint is not an effective way for me to learn. I should go harass Doug (Drew’s dad) sometime today. I haven’t talked to him for a couple of days.
I want to cuddle with my boyfriend. Yes Sarah, I know I’m lucky etc. Please don’t lecture me on that. I don’t feel well and I want to be in his arms. This is my blog and I’ll be a whiny privileged white girl if I want to . I want to get enough sleep some night. It won’t be tonight because … well… I have to go play poker. I hope some of the girls that signed up come… but not the *bitchy* ones. No one needs them.
“the ledger is transaction data by account” 8 am is too early for this shit. It’s not okay. I hate this class. Why can’t I be in the 9:30 one? Oh well. My weekend starts in approximately35 minutes. Fuuuuuck this is going slowly.
I don’t give a damn about which account things are posted to right now. It doesn’t matter. Not really. Fucking a.
I forgot my Mountain Dew at home. It’s sitting on my counter. Dumb right? That’s what I’m best at. Doing dumb shit. Yet I’m in too apathetic of a mood to care.
I’ve (almost) decided on who I’m voting for. But I could still be persuaded either way. Retarded.
Damn. There’s still28 minutes left. My eyes are so heavy! I want to pay attention. Damnit! Too bad most of this stuff is still review. Maybe I’d try harder then.

class

So, I’m in class and just feel like being … reflective.
My kitten is fine. She just can’t eat her treats anymore. Which is sad, but I don’t think that she ever really liked them. I love that cat.
My boyfriend… that man is fantastic. Lol. It’s probably a good thing he doesn’t read this. He might get an ego problem if he read how often I bragged on him. He took baby to her apt because I was in class. And held me last night while I cried. I’m such a baby…I cry way too often. I started taking my anxiety meds again because of that. Hopefully they start working soon.
I have my first trip to a synagogue coming up on Sunday. Isn’t that exciting? I’m kind of in love with it. In Chicago. I <3>

Jordan's gone
and he didn't call....
but I'm sure he was busy with family stuff

Drew's at his house
taking care of the baby
She's sick. And I don't know if she'll be okay

I have 6 hours of class.
And all I want to do
Is stay in bed

jordan leaves for basic in the morning

i wish i weren't too tired to cry.

I can't concentrate on homework

I'm such a fucking r-tard sometimes

I love sleep

why can't I go there now.

I like being my boyfriend's princess

He is making me so happy

Which is wonderful. <3

I can't wait to see him in like an hour.

hate class

Deserving

So I'm watching fresh prince of belair and it's really made me think

I DESERVE my spot at Drake. I deserve it. I worked DAMN hard to get into Drake and if I work at it, I can fit in *damn* well on campus. I need to not take advantage of the gifts that I have: i.e. I *know* I'm smart. I did *so* well in high school. I need to stop slacking off.

I need to realize that I deserve to be treated with respect. By *all* of my friends. And if they don't get that, they can get the fuck out of my life. I don't give a damn.

I'm still deciding if I like this
this living alone
Right now I'm leaning towards not
I don't like being lonely

I'm tired
and hungover
thank you Justin

I'm so happy my Miss B is back
God I love that girl.
She's one of my favorites
and she looks so sexy right now
:-)

Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na

I guess I just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
So I'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent (nope)
I've got a brand new attitude,
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na na na na na
I wanna start a fight
Na na na na na
I wanna start a fight

[Chorus]
So,
So what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gona show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

Unh Check my flow Uohhh

The waiter just took my table
And gave it to Jessica Simps
(Shit! )
I guess I'll go sit with drum boy
At least hell know how to hit
(Oops)
What if this flops on the radio,
Then somebodys gonna die! haha
I'm going to get in trouble,
My ex will start a fight

Na na na na
He's gonna to start a fight
Na na na na
We're all gonna
To get into a fight

[Chorus]
So,
So what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gona show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

You weren't fair
You never were
You want it all but that's not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren't there, you let me fall

[Chorus]
So, so what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gona show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

No no
No no, I don't want you tonight
You weren't there
I'm gona show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

Ba da da da pffftt

So this song illustrates the reason I'm in love with Pink.
Her husband leaves her and she writes a badass angry girl song.
AND calls him a tool in it.
Fucking tight.

scared

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boyfriend needs to get out of bed!!! Super frustrating

I'm booooored. and at his house

stupid drake west made me move my car... so it's at his house til sunday.

sometimes I look in your eyes
the reflection terrifies my own
where did youth vanish to
despise growing up
making decisions; please no

I don't want to grow old. I don't really want to get any older than I am today. It scares the *shit* out of me.

Some dumb drunk girl paid me $5 to drive her from Drake West to the Dublin!! Ridiculous huh. Granted I probably wouldn't have done it for 1 or 2. . . I was moving Glenn's car anyway cuz he was impaired and couldn't. God I was a good girl. I haven't been *drunk* yet.

summer survey

LOVE/SEX
(_) stayed single
(_) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
(_) made out for the first time
(x) made out in a car
(x) kissed in the rain
(_) fell in love
(_) fell in love with a fool
(x) your heart broken
(x) broke someone else's heart
(_) had a stalker
(x) had a good relationship with someone

(x) questioned your sexual orientation
(_) came out of the closet (if you're gay)
(_) gotten someone else pregnant
(_) had an abortion
(_) gotten married
(_) had a divorce
(_) had a gay marriage
(x) kissed someone of the same sex
(_) dated someone new
(x) dated someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
(_) lost your true love
(_) lost faith in love

WORK
(_) got a promotion
(x) got a pay raise
(_) changed jobs
(_) lost your job
(x) quit your job
(_) dated a co-worker
(_) dated your boss
(_) dated your boss' daughter/son
(_) got fired from your job

OTHER
(x) did something you were proud of
(x) discovered a new talent
(x) proved your self an idiot
(_) were involved in something you'll never forget
(_) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
(_no...but oh god i want to) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
(_) went to camp
(_) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
(_) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted shamelessly
(_) visited a foreign country
(x) visted another state
(x) cooked a disasterous meal
(_) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
(x) went on a diet
(_) tried to gain weight
(x) dyed your hair
(_) came close to losing your life
(_) someone close to you died
(_) went to a wild party
(x) drank alcohol
(x) drank alchohol underage
(_) did (a) drug(s)
(x) got drunk
(_) got arrested
(x) read a great book
(x) saw a great movie
(x) saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
(x) saw your favorite band/artist live
(x) saw someone famous in person
(x) did something you want to tell everyone

I disagree

so. I can't *comment* on S's blog
but I disagree. The drinking age *isn't* a big deal in Europe. It's *16* there. The drinking age being 21 makes alcoholics. It puts a big emphasis on being 21. It places emphasis on drinking and the legalities of it. If it's lowered people are going to be exposed to it younger, and not have as many issues because of alcohol.

The driving laws I have issues with. Why do we let our kids drive so young. 14 year olds are *not* in any sense of the word mature enough to handle a car. 16 year olds should *not* be able to have passengers if we are going to let them drive. *I* was fine. But I also grew up driving snowmobiles, 4-wheelers, go-karts etc. And if we lower the drinking age we need to be harsher on our driving laws.

I'm moved in. And thanks to K it's all documented. I agree on the very meaningful conversation.

I'm going on a date tonight. Thus the too-choppy sentences.

I also am switching birth control to implanon. No more taking a pill every day :-) fantastic right.

[one] are you single? nope.... I usually like my boy. :-) [two] where was your default picture taken? at rcb about a year ago.... [three] what is your middle name? jeanne [four] Do you have a crush? always. [six] what is your current mood? tiiiiired [seven] when was the last time you hurt yourself? i stopped doing that. Exboyfriend made me. [eight] who makes you happy? Karissa. Sarah. Drew. Bre. Sonja. Brooke. [nine] look at a poster in your room, who's on it? usher. I love me some sexy black men [ten] do you know anybody with the same birthday as you? Linda bear. [eleven] If you must be an animal for one day, what would it be? a deer. I'd like to be graceful for once [twelve] have you ever had a near death experience? yessssssssssssss [thirteen] what did you do yesterday? packed to move to drake west. [fourteen] the song stuck in your head? Johnny and June Heidi Newfield [fifteen] what is your desktop background? blue bubbles. LOL i had to look [sixteen] what are you wearing? a red badlands t. and underwear. I'm in bed peoples. [seventeen] when was the last time you cried? this morning [eighteen] have you ever sung in front of a large audience? in chorus oh yeah. and then there was that musical *hates on west side story* [twenty-nine] what's a superpower you wish you had? mind reading. I agree with K [twenty] what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes. I love unique and beautiful eyes [twenty-one] what do you usually order from Starbucks? I am currently in love with a mocha frappachino [twenty-two] what's your biggest secret? oh. Definitely that I'm in love with Karissa and sleeping with Sarah ;-) my life is a soap opera [twenty-three] who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Drew. for all of 2 minutes [twenty-four] who texted you last? Drew [twenty-five] do you still watch kiddy movies? I *love* kids movies [twenty-six] what are you eating or drinking at the moment? nothing [twenty-seven] what do you think about the person you got this from? she's adorable. and absolutely wonderful [twenty-eight] what's your favorite smell? big fan of drew's cologne aqui de g- something or other. :-) It's an armani one. [twenty-nine] if you could describe your life in one word what would it be? emotional [thirty] when was the last time you had a hug? yesterday?? [thirty-one] favorite ice cream? caramel du leche [thirty-three] what should you be doing? sleeping. cuz i have to get up damn early [thirty-four] Are you in love with anyone? think so [thirty-five] how often do you laugh? not as often as I probably should [thirty-six] what woke you up this morning? my body? [thirty-seven] are you happy with how your life is going? kinda [thirty-eight] where were you born? clarion then life flighted to dsm [thirty-nine] who was the last person to make you cry? sonja

i should really get some sleep

I move ...later today. weird.

Don't get me wrong. I'm excited as fuck about it. And I can't wait to have my *own* place. But with sonja not coming back... it's a bit... it hurts. I'm looking forward to shopping with Sar and K though. I can do that. I like that.

My stupid boyfriend...
is at Ihop with stupid Nate.
and so he can't talk to me
and i *need* to talk to him so i can sleep.
and i have to wake up at 7 so i can finish loading vehicles and get my ass to dsm by 9.

God tomorrow's going to be a long day. Not really looking forward to it. K is going to help me move which will be amazing. I love her. She gets to meet my parents. usually I don't let people do that til they've known me long enough I know they're not going to judge me on my parents. lol.

fuuuuuuuuuck I should go to sleep. Really wish I could

Kid Rock's cd...rock n roll jesus.... absolutely *fab*
I love it. "I fuck hot pussy til it's cold." I *know* this should be offensive to me.... but really... it actually doesn't sound bad. I would do Kid Rock. Any day of the week. He's a sexy old man. Even if he is diseased. That's what condoms are for.

Duffy's cd.... I'd do her too. No that's not what I base my music choices off of.... the people I like just *happen* to be *very* sexy individuals.

So... my best friend from Drake isn't coming back.

She's been there for me *forever* and I love her to death.

I don't want to pack. I don't want to get ready to go. She's not there and so I'm convinced that school's going to suck. (I spent most of my weekends with her and most weekdays at her house.) I hate...detest... being alone.... yet that's how I'm living. Go me.

I hate this. I know I have Sar and K... but ... it's not the same...not yet. She was like a second me. But one that I could like. I can't imagine liking myself. I'm kind of a blunt bitch.

And now who am I going to compare sex stories with? *sniff*

Dreams. God awful and horrifyingly scary

So I had this dream. And it was *awful*

In the beginning I was raped... but my family didn't believe it. I didn't go to the police because... well... I didn't want to deal with it. I wasn't strong enough. I thought it would simply go away. And then I got pregnant. That's why the family didn't believe me. But it was a white guy that raped me... so... obviously... lol

I was pregnant with twins. And since the family knew about it...abortion wasn't an option. Drew's friend Dinah who just got married was going to adopt the babies and that way I could be a part of their life. She was also pregnant...with twins...and adopting mine was supposed to make her get an abortion because if she gave birth it would kill her. She didn't believe that... so she died. So no one could adopt my babies. So I had to keep them. And it *really* bothered my boyfriend. And then I woke up.

How morbid and awful right?

yet another one

a A CORNUCOPIA OF QUESTIONS FOR A RAINY DAY

THE BASICS:
NAME?: Dani
AGE?: 19
BIRTHDAY?: May 30
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?: gemini
EYE COLOR?: brown...changes with my clothes and mood though
NATURAL HAIR COLOR?: light brown
HAIR LENGTH?: about shoulder
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?: I'm moving to DSM in a week
WHEN DO YOU GET UP?: as late as I possibly can :-)
WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT?: can I sleep 10 more minutes. :-)
WHAT DO YOU DO FIRST?: stretch
DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST?: some days. it depends on how I'm feeling
WORK OR SCHOOL?: school.
HOW MANY HOURS DO YOU WORK OR GO TO SCHOOL EACH WEEK?: 15 this semester
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU GET HOME?: study. get a drink.
WHAT TIME DO YOU GO TO BED?: laaaaaaate
SLEEP ALONE?: yes. . .
ANY PETS?: zoey lives at my house and ginger lives at drew's
HERITAGE?: euro-mutt :-)
SIBLINGS?: bre is 16 and brad is 12
YOUNGEST OR ELDEST?: oldeset
SHOE SIZE?: 8
LEFTY OR RIGHTY?: righty... my left hand is *useless*
NICK NAME(S)?: D...Dani..
WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Clarion Iowa
LASTS:
PERSON YOU TOLD YOU LOVED THEM?: Drew
TIME YOU CRIED?: this morning
WERE IN A CAR?: umm about two hours ago on the way home from wc
ATE AT A RESTAURANT?: umm... the state fair was yesterday?
SLEPT SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN YOUR OWN BED?: last week...
WENT CAMPING?: Don't remember... going for a week in SD though... leaving tomorrow
SLEPT IN A HOTEL/MOTEL?: a long time ago
SMOKED A CIGARETTE?: yuck
SAW YOUR PARENTS?: about 2 hours ago
WERE IN A CLASSROOM / SCHOOL?: about a month ago
DOWNLOADED SOMETING?: yesterday
MOVIE YOU WATCHED?: no idea... watch a lot of movies.
WENT TO THE LIBRARY?: last month
WERE SICK?: not long enough ago
ATE A FRESH PICKED FRUIT OR VEGETABLE?: umm last week
PERSON TO CALL YOU?: seela
PERSON TO TEXT YOU?: drew
BOOK YOU READ?: breaking dawn
SONG YOU HEARD?: so i need you is playing
THE FUTURE:
GOING TO COLLEGE?: am in college at Drake
PLANNING A TRIP?: to SD real soon
PLANNING A MOVE?: yeah in about 9 days!
MARRIAGE?: eventually... I'd like to ... I think
TYPE OF WEDDING?: a disney princess one
IN A CHURCH?: probably...I *am* catholic
BEST MAN / MAID-OF-HONOR?: best man is my future husband's choice... my brother just has to be a groomsman... my sister is maid of honor. obviously
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?: chicago.
WHAT WILL YOUR JOB BE?: that's a really good question
KIDS?: definitely eventually
HOW MANY?: 2 or 3
THEIR NAMES?: dude. I'm not even pregnant. Don't want to name the litte shits yet!
WHERE WILL YOU RETIRE?: somewhere awesome
DO YOU CONTRIBUTE TO A 401(K)?: nope.
YOUR IDEAL PARTNER:
FIRST THING YOU NOTICE?: eyes.
DRINKER?: socially
SMOKER?: absolutely not.
HAIR COLOR?: I like dark hair.
HAIR LENGTH?: long.
EYES?: beautiful.
WEIGHT?: isn't as important. should take care of self.
HEIGHT?: taller than me
STYLE? : whatever looks good
IS MONEY IMPORTANT?: yes.
TATTOOS?: irrelevant. not too many
WANTS KIDS?: obviously
HAS KIDS?: no.
WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU LOOK FOR?: someone fun that treats me with resepect and can set goals for the future and know how to attain them
FAVORITES:
FAVORITE COLOR?: pink and black
FAVORITE ANIMAL?: penguin
FAVORITE PET?: zoey. and ginger. i can't play favorites
FAVORITE AUTOMOBILE?: corvette z06 or zr7
FAVORITE FLOWER?: lillies. orange ones
FAVORITE MOVIE(S)?: grease.
FAVORITE BOOK(S)?: perfect stranger.
FAVORITE AUTHOR(S)?: nicholas sparks and james patterson
FAVORITE SMELLS OR SCENTS?: drew's cologne. flowers.
FAVORITE MALE NAME(S)?: Michael. Danick.
FAVORITE FEMALE NAME(S)?: Ashleigh. Jennifer. Erin
FAVORITE NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK?: apple juice
FAVORITE FOODS?: pasta. big on pasta.
FAVORITE PICTURE OR ARTIST?: Fill out this survey yourself
Find a different survey
Brought to you by Bzoink

*tell me about it... stud*

I love this movie. And it's stuck in my head like *nothing* else.

I have a friend that I think is into me.. and I don't know how to let them know I'm not interested and keep the friendship.

This is *such* a shitty recurring theme for me. I give up. Don't care. lol

I'm better than caring.

I'm trying to let go of a friend that's been close to me for two years because she's toxic. She doesn't care about anyone but herself and that puts way too much stress on me. Because I will always go back to her. And that's wrong. On a few levels. But I keep going back. I keep thinking that things will get better. Next time she'll care. And it doesn't work.

I'm glad I have a nice boyfriend. We already know I can't leave the assholes. Thank you past.

Go to photobucket (don't sign in)
Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box
- Use only the first page
-Copy the html and paste for the answer


What is your relationship status?




What is your favorite color?





Who is your celebrity crush?





I like my minority men :-) <3

What band/artist did you last listen to?'





Where is your dream vacation?




What's your favorite candy?

who woulda guessed... what comes up when i type in heath or 'heath candy'




Favorite shoe you like?




Which color is better red, black, green, blue, or yellow?





What month is your birthday?




SCORE


What's your favorite football team?




Whats your favorite baseball team?





Favorite TV show?











Whats your favorite movie?
super cliche... I know

9 Days until I move. Which doesn't seem quite fair since 3 days ago when I posted there were 10. But it got postponed til after vacay . . . we're leaving for South Dakota bright and early. Lame.

PS. Sarah and Karissa... Sonia's boutique on the 19th morningish or 18th evening. I *need* to find a dress for a date... and umm am not going to have time to. Lame right.

I have limited internet access for the next week so hopefully I'll be able to update. *who knows* *shrugs*

There's 10 days til I move to DSM. 10 long days of not seeing my babygirl. =( lol
10 short days of being able to ride my dirtbike and 4-wheeler
laaaaame

But I'm super excited to come back and live on my own again.

I got a kitty I got a kitty I got a kitty hey hey hey hey

Now that it's out of my system

Drew bought me a cat. To keep at his house. She's 8 weeks old and super cute and I love her.

She's our baby. Our first baby.

I had the best time last night.

I started my day off at home cleaning. (lame) and then went to the fin aid office at Drake (lame) to turn in my scholarships and loans etc.

But then I went shopping with Linda and we went to this kickass Egyptian store in the mall. <3

After that I went and saw Glenn and Little Mike. Which was also fun because those boys are so over my head with technology and they try so hard not to be. It makes me giggle.

Then I went and played wii with Anthony

Then I saw Sarah's house. And went to coffee with her and Karissa. And then we went to El Bait Shop. And that was also amazingly fun. Those girls got *way* too drunk off *one* margarita

*Full Service Survey*



Answer Truthfully
When you lay in bed at night, who is on your mind?
usually Drew.





If you could disappear and reappear anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Paris





What did you do last night?
umm... what did I do...fought with the parents. went to a stupid reunion...fought some more...almost broke up with boyfriend...thought about dying...and then slept

Name something that you are really good at -
reading, writing, and making other people happy





Name something that you are not really good at -
having any sort of self-control

Have you ever been on trial?
in mock trial :-)




Do you have a 'crazy ex'?
doesn't *everyone* and I keep *trying* to be his friend




Catagorize yourself as a friend to others (trusting, caring, ruthless ect...)
really good




Have you kissed anyone in the past week?
no.... =(

If so, do you regret it?
nope




Hugs or Kisses?
kisses. plz kiss away my tears.

Do you own any non-typical animals?
nope. but that would be tight as hell







You're on an elevator with one other person, do you make small talk or enjoy the awkwardness?
awkwardness... but i don't enjoy it.



Have you ever gotten violent with a weapon?
yep, actually, i have...it was a baseball bat :-) stupid boy. wish they woulda let me hit him



When your angry, do you stay and argue or storm off?
argue





When you grow up, what do you want to be?
good question

When will you move out?
aug 16 baby




Do you watch reality TV?
sytycd, america's got talent, rock of love
i enjoy most of it
just don't follow it regularly




What does your favorite shirt look like?
oh i have so many favorites






How do you feel about Brett Favre?
asshole shoulda stayed retired

Do you watch the Olympics?
sometimes. I like male gymnasts. holy shit.




What about the XGames?
those are *amazing*
wish i could do that with my bike




Are you any good at science?
nope

State a phrase that only you and one other person would understand...
"let me see your thooooong" <3 my linda bear


What do you do?
what don't I do? ;-)


Do you usually make the plans or do you wait for someone to invite you?
i usually make plans




Can you rap?
like none other bitchez
cuz im a white chick



What size shoe do you wear?
8

Do you think animals think humans are dumb?
perhaps

Do you watch Nascar?
umm
lets go with no







Can you do the worm?
never tried

Currently who are you mad at?
no one.






Currently who makes you smile?
everyone *can* currently



Are you "talking" to anyone?
no

Loner or Socialite?
both

Do you have a lot of enemies?
more than i'd like

If so, why do you think people don't like you?
their boyfriends want me ;-)

Can you change a flat tire?
yes. and i *can* change the oil in a car. though it'd take me a while to do that one




Do you ever use old slang (tight, sweet, ra.....)
I always say tight.




You are given the opportunity to take the dream job of your life, but you are to move to Japan to get it...do you take it?
if there's an opportunity to move back
and yeah i probably would
just cuz it'd be cool to live there for a year or two










how old are you?
20

did you ever "run away" when you were little?
tried to




how far did you get?
not far





do you pick your nose while driving? dont lie!!!
umm gross





your choice: brand new car w/ no payments or brand new house w/ no payments?
house house HOUSE




when you put on your socks, do you put them on in a certain order?
yup
toes first







name a childhood fear that still bothers you from time to time:
being raped and murdered
I had *such* an imagination when i was young





mcain, obama or clinton?
haven't decided fully

would you sell your soul to the devil if you could have everything you wanted for the rest of your life?
yes. if it would keep everyone I loved happy.

relationship issues, keep it to yourself or tell everyone you know?
both





do you really know who you are yet?
not really

do you lie for a friend or tell the truth to keep your credibility?
depends