my boy. oh i love him. *sappy*

"when you look me in the eyes, I catch I glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise when you look me in the eyes"

I don't want to be that girl. The girl that talks incessantly about her boyfriend of two years and how fabulous he is (especially since she knows it isn't "getting" her anywhere cuz he doesn't read her blog)

But I swear, this boy... he cares more for me than he should. I'm not that special but he makes me feel like the world revolves around me. He honestly cares about my opinion and he doesn't yell at me. He doesn't make me feel like shit. I keep waiting for the world to fall apart, for this all to come down, for it to be shot to hell. I keep waiting for him to walk out, and say sorry it was all a joke. I didn't mean to ruin your life. But he's not going to. He's been *mine*, legitimately, for a year and nine months, though he's been one of the boys I've been closest to for damn near two years.

He's been so sweet to me this weekend. (I had implanon put in my arm so that I didn't have to remember to take b/c pills every day.) My arm has hurt like fuck all weekend. Lies. Fucking doesn't hurt. Not usually. I have a pretty damn sweet bruise from it though. But even though he hasn't felt fabulous he's taken better care of me than I ever could have asked for. He has been sweeter and been nicer to me than I could have ever dreamed a boy could be. I didn't think that anyone would love me like he does, and everyday I question if I deserve it. I have trouble remembering how many advil he takes, but he remembers *everything* He's the type of boy who would pick up tampons and midol for me if I needed him to. He pays for my cosmo addiction =D. And he stays awake to cuddle me til I fall asleep, even though he can't sleep holding me.

I can't imagine what my life would be like without him in it. I can't wait to become *his* forever. <3 . And I'm definitely not looking to get married. Somehow, that is exactly what I want right now though.